What is life all about to you? Is it to always be busy with studies and have no time whatsoever for essential things like family, friends, fun, relaxation, and enjoying life? OR Is it to be highly effective in your studies, have a definite direction in life, achieve your goals, meet your full potential, and still have time for family, friends, fun, relaxation, and thoroughly enjoy your life!!!
Do not miss out on this special offer to obtain your Complete Unique Learning Profile Kit when you buy my book titled What is your Unique Learning Profile? Included in the deal is
1. the book,
2. one free online test worth $150,
3. a tailor-made Plan of Study compiled per the online test results,
4. two posters and
5. a scientific learning system manual with loads of powerful memorisation techniques.
Don't delay. Order now. You will surely not regret it. Happy studies.
Annie
n this video, I focus on Sensorium. Sensorium refers to the incorporation of the five senses of learning. We must remember to incorporate the use of all our students’ senses when we lesson plan. We need the students to see, listen, hear, smell, and, if possible, touch and taste the new information. I explain the different characteristics of the sensorium, which I found very useful in my teaching history. I also use it daily with the upbringing of my children.
Happy teachings.
Annie
In this video, we focus on the Integration of the Lateral Dimensions. We look at the influence stress has on the brain functioning of our students. I explain important terminology about the integration of the brain, such as being homolateral, bilateral and integrated. In the next video, we will focus on synaesthesia. Be the example you want your students to have. Please like and subscribe to my channel.
Happy teachings.
Annie
Teacher Series, video number 3: In this video, we look at the lateral dimensions' characteristics. When we look at the Bible, Gods Holy Word, we know that every word is true. With the lateral dimension, it is not that easy. These are guidelines only. Most of the student characteristics will be on one side of the lateral dimension, but you have to leave room for parental intervention. I mention 2 other videos in this video. Herewith the links to the 2 videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xwgof...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcpBp...
In this video, we look at the origin of the Unique Learning Profile. We also begin to look at important terminologies such as hemispheric specialisation and the different lateral dimensions. In the next video, we will do a detailed study of the different characteristics between the two hemispheres, which will be very interesting. Remember, your students are the living messages you send to a time you may not see yourself. Change their lives by being a Godly example because they WILL follow in your footsteps, especially if you are a primary school teacher. Happy teachings. Annie
Would it not have been nice for every student in your class to come with a "How to Handle it Yourself Teachers Manual" with all the know-how and the insights needed for that specific student?
Every child is uniquely different and must be treated differently, but unfortunately, most of us are not equipped or ready for this new "student" when he or she is placed in our class. We lack even the most basic training we need to prepare us for this grotesque task.
We get background knowledge about the different aspects of child development to improve their insight, but it does not prepare us as educators for what lies ahead. Sometimes we are stunned to hear about two children from the same family that is so very different. They have the same mother, the same father, the same grandmothers, and grandfathers, are raised in the same house, and go to the same schools, but they are enormously different.
One can easily be called RAY because it is like having a ray of sunshine with this child in your classroom. Then comes along the other one, and this one can easily be called NIGHT because it is scary how dark the class atmosphere can suddenly become with this child's attitude. 'Ray' is diligent, neat, does all the prescribed homework, and is truly helpful. 'Night' does not know the meaning of the word homework. Procrastination is the order of the day. This child is always late, always in trouble, always busy with everything except what needs to be done.
Because of our uniquely different characteristics, I decided to start my research in 1995 on the Hemispheric Specialization and its influence on the way we study. I realized that we needed to differentiate when we train up our students to go, but it does not end there.
Educators need to understand this concept to be successful educators. Suppose an educator does not know that each lesson plan needs to accommodate both the 'Ray' students and the 'Night' students. In that case, that educator will never be seen as a successful educator because half the class will not be reached.
Students need to understand this concept as well to become successful students. If students do not understand the unique learning profile and do not use the correct study, they will never reach their optimum potential.
Find out what your Unique Learning Profile is, and follow the correct study map for your profile; no matter your age, you will be more successful in everything you undertake. Remember, we are never too old to learn something new.
In this video I show you how you can practically apply the STORY TECHNIQUE to any subject such as Math. We work with Math Place Value and we memorize it by making a story about Place Value Street and a guy named Pete.
In this video, we cover the basic concepts of what integers are. We also cover what integers are not and explain why. Happy studies.
You have to have background knowledge of the different types of numbers before you can genuinely understand integers. Pay specific attention to whole numbers, fractions, decimals and negative numbers. In the next video, we will delf into INTEGERS. Happy studies.
Memorization is a very intricate process. There are many different kinds of mnemonics. This video summarizes the main mnemonic systems. These systems changed my life forever.
Happy studies!
kEYWORDS are very important. Make sure you know how to identify keywords and how to apply it to your study. Happy studies.
This video is about the application of the Number-Shape System. If you do not know this system yet, re-visit the previous video and first make sure you are 100% familiar with it before you watch this video. The system must be embedded in your long-term memory before you can use it.
In this video, I provide you with the first-hand experience of applying the Story Technique to improve your long-term memorization. In the next video, we will make use of the story technique as an integral part of other scientific learning systems. Happy studies!
In this video, I provide you with the first-hand experience of applying the Story Technique to improve your long-term memorization. In the next video, we will make use of the story technique as an integral part of other scientific learning systems. Happy studies!
Get the self-image of a SUCCESSFUL PERSON. Too many times do we experience negative thoughts about ourselves. These habits need to be broken today. We will have to begin with the smashing of a few memory patterns you made over the years. Take action. Do not just watch these videos. Take notes. Follow my guidelines. Work daily towards improving yourself and the way you study. Make sure you invest in GOOD memory patterns. Also in this video, identify and claim your study space in accordance with the guidelines of a good study space. Happy studies!
8 December
#StudyHabits - Encouraging your children to develop good study habits from an early age is one of the most important things you can do as a parent. Help your child develop a lifelong love of learning by setting up a study space without distractions, getting organized, and helping them to feel positive about their schoolwork.Raising and teaching Godly children - 0431 683853
6 December
WHO IS KINGSLEY PRIVATE SCHOOL???
Kingsley Private School, nestled in the heart of George. Starting as a humble school with small beginnings to a school that proudly teaches 78 students from grade 1 to grade 12. Kingsley Private School was established in 2007 by Annelize Van Tonder, a woman with a passion for children and Christian Education. It is centrally situated and aims to give our students a well-balanced education. At Kingsley Private School we recognize that each student is a unique individual who must be educated in his / her totality in order to reach optimum potential.
The school is English medium, co-educational and caters for students from Grade 1 to Grade 12. We also cater for students who are highly intellectual and easily get bored in a normal school as well as students with special needs. We are planning to begin Afrikaans medium as well.
The buildings include a modern reception, computer center, Junior- and Senior Primary classrooms, a High School classroom, Brain Clinic class, art class, EGD class and additional rooms for life skills.
At Kingsley Private we endeavor to educate the child academically, culturally and physically in a balanced program and to teach him / her Christian values and principles so that he/she may develop fully as his / her ability allows.
We offer a wide variety of extra-mural activities which include Athletics and winter sport. Well qualified coaches visit us every Tuesday and Thursday to train our students. We also offer horse riding for the little ones.
Our computer center has recently been upgraded and is a hive of activity. A variety of programs and research skills are taught. Our school is proud of the fact that we are able to offer the students a good grounding in the mastering of computing techniques that have become essential in our technological age. For this, we make use of the Future Kids and Skills Pro courses.
The school also has a very active, hard-working PTA team which is responsible for the raising of funds. Meetings are held on a regular basis.
So what is a school without a legacy? And how do we know that the fruits are being applied once our students are done with their grade 12? Kingsley Private School received this from a past pupil -
Hallo Juf. Annelize,
Baie dankie vir Juf. se boodskap. Ek sal met graagte vir Juf op hoogte wil bring.
Ek het na hoërskool so tydjie afgevat. Ek maak op die oomblik my “Bachelor of Divinity” klaar by Stellenbosch Universiteit se Teologiese departement. Ek doen my “undergraduate thesis” en my velde van spesialiteit is Hebreeus en Ou Testament studies. Ek was verlede jaar genooi om deel te wees van die Golden Key International Honor Society vir my akademiese prestasie. Volgende jaar gaan ek voort met my MTh.
Tussen deur het ek en my sussie, Hestemarí, ons eie besigheid gestig: Three Potters and Painter. Dis ‘n ceramic studio in die Woodmill Centre in Stellenbosch. Ons het ons eie winkel, teaching studio en produksie studio alles op die perseel. Ons doen beide ons eie kuns reekse en doen ook kommissie werk veral binne die restaurant industrie.
Ons het permanente staf lede en neem ook stukwerkers in diens met tye.
Ons het hierdie jaar ons eie uitstalling gereel wat op die 2de Februarie ge-open het. 280 gaste was genooi vir ‘n Gala Aand wat ‘n 5 gang maal ingesluit het. Gaste het ingesluit mede uitstallers asook mense van verskeie velde in die land soos Allan Winde, Christo Wiese, Minki van der Westhuizen en Therese Benade. Ons hoofspreker was bekende ekonoom Dr Iraj Abedian wat voorgestel was deur Bonang Mohali. Die 2018 Legacy Exhibition stal byna 20 van die top keramiek kunstenaars van die land ten toon asook die werk van 2 fotograwe.
Vanaf April hierdie jaar is Three Potters and a Painter aan hoof van die Stellenbosch uitbreiding van die Light from Africa Foundation. Dit behels weeklikse kunsklasse wat deur my en Hestemarí (as kunsterapete) fasiliteer gaan word vir kinders van Kuyasa, ‘n organisasie in Kayamandi. Hierdie is kinders van minder bevooregde agtergronde wat nou die geleentheid sal hê om in ‘n veilige spasie hul kreatiewiteit uit te druk. Ons gaan ook ‘n geleentheid gee aan die personeelhede wie verantwoordelik is vir die bestuur van Kuyasa om aan werkswinkels deel te neem, ‘n “care of the carers” program.
Daar is nog so paar opwindende projekte wat ons gaan aanpak hierdie jaar waarvan ek Juf ook van sal laat weet.
Vriendelike groete,
Hermiene
And it’s this that makes Kingsley Private School a success - Raising and teaching Godly children - 044 873 4739 #KingsleyPrivateSchool
Share your comments or past student stories with us.Click any text or icon to edit or style it. Use the
block parameters to hide/show text or icons and change media size or position.
1 December
So, this quick and easy exercise can tell me more about my child.... But what does it mean? and how will this affect my child's learning capabilities? Why should I know this as a parent? At our Education Center we can give you all the answers you need to know to understand the difference between a left eye and a right ear.
Our Brain Clinic will reveal the most effective way your child should be learning so that he/she can achieve the most out of study time in order to reach his/her full potential.
For more information or to make a booking we can be contacted on 044 873 4739 #KingsleyPrivateSchool
17 November
Dyspraxia in children
'Dyspraxia, a form of developmental coordination disorder (DCD) is a common disorder affecting fine and/or gross motor coordination, in children and adults. While DCD is often regarded as an umbrella term to cover motor coordination difficulties, dyspraxia refers to those people who have additional problems planning, organising and carrying out movements in the right order in everyday situations. Dyspraxia can also affect articulation and speech, perception and thought.' Although dyspraxia may be diagnosed at any stage of life, increasing numbers of children are identified as having the condition. Early recognition of dyspraxia will enable early intervention and practical steps to help your child to achieve their potential. Children whose dyspraxia is identified at an early stage are less likely to have problems with acceptance by their peers and with lowered self-esteem.
When children become teenagers their problems may change as social and organisational difficulties become more pressing.
13 November
We want to hear from YOU!! Comment below -
As a parent in these new age time, what are your biggest challenges of being a parent?
Here are some challenge examples Moms listed:
- Sleepless nights/sleep deprivation.
- Tantrums.
- Having patience.
- Keeping on top of the household chores.
- Getting children to eat the right foods.
- Sibling rivalry.
- Juggling childcare.
- Give your child what they want without
spoiling them.
12 November
Description Instead of Evaluation
Dr. Haim Ginott cautions us to avoid what he calls "evaluative praise." Evaluative praise is characterized by broad statements that focus directly on the personality traits or characteristics of a child rather than on their actions. For example:
"You are a really bright kid!"
"You are a very good-hearted boy."
And even worse:
"You are the best soccer player I have ever seen!!!"
So what's wrong with these statements? They are certainly praiseworthy, yes? The problem is that in each case, we are setting the child up to feel the pressure of attaining the desired trait all the time. If you tell your daughter that she is the best netball player you have ever seen, she may translate that to having to attain the same level of performance on the court every time she plays. If she does not attain that level of performance, she will feel like she has failed and consequently she will experience a drop in self-esteem and possibly worse feelings such as shame, humiliation, or general unworthiness. A better way to restate all three of the above statements would be as follows:
"I see that you figured out how to put that train together. You followed those directions well. That takes patience and smarts!"
"I noticed that you shared your sandwich with Joey when he told you he forgot to bring in his lunch today. It was kind of you to help him out!"
"That was quite a game. You had some dynamite scores, not to mention you had some great passes as well as some great spikes of your own when you were on the field."
You see the difference. In the bottom three praise statements, the evaluation is left up to the child. The first child can draw his own conclusions that he is smart. You've even given him the words to use. In Joey's case, you have described his "good-hearted" behavior rather than labeling him as such. Again he can draw the conclusion himself without feeling that he has to live up to the label at all times. In the last example, you have very descriptively told the young volleyball player what she did well in this game. It leaves her room to make mistakes while encouraging her to keep working at her skills. Again, she can draw her own conclusions regarding her talent. As Ginott points out, praise has two parts: One is the part we offer which is to describe the act, and the other is to offer our words in such a way that the child can draw his own conclusion about his personality trait or characteristic. If he is not able to hit the same mark every time, he won't feel the humiliation of not living up to someone else's appraisal of him, yet he will be encouraged to strive toward positive behavior and personality traits.
9 November
Today at Kingsley we had a "Junk to Funk" day. This was an initiative from one of our teachers to teach the students about recycling and how you can use items and products over and over again. Its about being wise and saving our environment for the future. Thank you teacher Valencia and all our teachers involved. Making a brighter future for all generations to follow. Leading by example.
6 November
Why Kids Love Rain and Other Scientific Facts of Nature
There’s nothing kids love better than a rainy day (and rain facts for kids). Always checking the meteorological charts, tracking low pressure systems and scanning the horizon for those heavy clouds, kids sure are fun-loving. It’s a universal experience that spans generations. I think we can all recall that special feeling when Mom shouted: “Get up sleepyhead. It’s raining today!”
You know why kids love rain so much? Science. That includes nature, too, because of the hydrogen and oxygen molecules creating a nice place for frogs to eat mosquito's. There’s a connection you know. Kids have an affinity for exploration and learning all that stuff. They love the sweet smell of petrichor and the fact that their electronicals don’t operate in the wet environment. They’ll study rain drops, evaluating them for sound, velocity and taste. It’s why they’re always singing: “Rain, rain come today.” Kids are natural pluviophiles (rain lovers).
Here’s a question you kids will appreciate: What is the optimal strategy for moving in the rain? Before you jump to any unscientific conclusions, you should know that this question of whether it is better to walk or run in the rain has perplexed physicists and other scientists for generations. You’ve run your own tests. But did you calculate the cosine of the angle between your path and the wind direction? You probably need more science.Raising and teaching Godly children - 044 873 4739 #KingsleyPrivateSchool
5 November
Financial mistakes made by parents & how to fix them!
Every parent has good intentions for how to raise a financially fit kid. Unfortunately, some of the major mistakes they make have to do with wanting to make their children happy and we talk about the unintended consequences of making your children happy, so that means giving them whatever they want, caving to whatever demand they come up with. The other big mistake families make is to bail the kids out, so later on, when they are teenagers or they are off at college, if they have maxed out their credit card, the parent wanting to protect that Credit score, of course, will pay off the credit card. The problem is that just teaches the children that somebody will pay off their credit card, it doesn't teach them to be more responsible. So, bailing them out, indulging their every wish, those are two of the big pieces. But the third one, I'd say, the third big mistake families make is to not match intention with their good intentions. Good intentions everybody has, but intention to really teach and hold kids accountable is something that takes real time and concentration on the part of the family. So, really being intentional, I think is the work of parents as they're trying to make financially intelligent kids. Raising and teaching Godly children
3 November
Talking to Your Kids About Drugs
Kids taking drugs is a big problem. Today's children are exposed to many substances that were around when you were young -- marijuana, among them -- and others that were not recognized as a means of getting high, including household products like aerosols and over-the-counter and prescription drugs tucked in the medicine cabinet or a drawer. You can play a huge role in steering them away from the lure of drugs. Talking with your children is one of the most powerful ways of ensuring they remain drug-free. It should not just be a formal, sit-down conversation; in fact, discussing the dangers of taking drugs should be part of an ongoing dialogue if you want the message to stick.
Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Drugs
It's never too early or too late to begin talking with your children about drugs. Here are 11 tips to help you get started:
1. Sneak it in whenever you can. Try talking to your kids about drugs before school, on the way to rehearsal or practice, or after dinner.
2. Start conversation flowing by bringing up a recent drug- or alcohol-related incident in your community or family. Or if you and your child see a group of kids drinking or smoking, use the moment to talk about the negative effects of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.
3. Provide age-appropriate information. Here's a suggestion from Talking With Kids About Tough Issues, a national campaign by Children Now and the Kaiser Family Foundation: When your 6- or 7-year-old is brushing his teeth, say: "There are lots of things we do to keep our bodies healthy, like brushing our teeth. But there are also things we shouldn't do because they hurt our bodies, like smoking or taking medicines when we are not sick." Or, if you're watching TV with your 8-year-old and marijuana is mentioned on a program or ad, you can say something like, "Do you know what marijuana is? It's a bad drug that can hurt your body."
4. Establish a clear, no-nonsense family position on drugs.
Talking With Kids About Tough Issues suggests the following: "We don't allow any drug use, and children in this family are not allowed to drink alcohol. The only time you can take any drugs is when the doctor or Mom or Dad gives you medicine when you’re sick. We made this rule because we love you very much and we know that drugs can hurt your body and make you very sick. Some may even kill you. Do you have any questions?"
When are we as parents overstepping?
What happens when parents fight children's battles for them. Today we are teaching our children to become more parent dependent than independent. It's not because we don't love them. It's because we love them so much, we think we need to do everything for them. We need to go to the teachers and fight their battles. We need to go to the principals and fight their battles. The coaches and say, "Why isn't my son starting?" We need to go to the judge and say, "He was speeding, but please let him off." We are teaching our children that when there is a problem, go to your parents. We are not teaching them to solve the problem themselves. When you realize childhood is the perfect training ground for adult hood, then we should realize that and force them to be independent. Force them to handle situations themselves when they are 10 or 15 or 17. The situations they will encounter when they are 30 or 40 are going to be totally different. Right now, we are raising a bunch of children that, at 25, are parent dependent. It's much more important for children to learn not to depend on us, but they have to have the strength. They have the capabilities to handle their own problems, and they learned it in childhood. Raising and teaching Godly children -
28 October
Teach your children two things and you've taught them well: To love the Lord with all of their heart & to have a heart of compassion for others.
26 October
Early bedtime means better sleep.
The majority of children have a natural, biological bedtime that is early in the evening. Most babies, toddlers and preschoolers respond best with a bedtime between 6:00 and 7:30 P.M. Most children will fall asleep easier at this time and then actually sleep better and longer when they go to bed earlier. Pushing a bedtime past a child's natural, biologically-set time means a child who is more fussy and finds it harder to fall asleep later, due to a "second wind" that occurs. Poor sleep causes crying, tantrums, whining, and fussing. Your child’s sleep habits can affect every single waking moment of every single day. A sleep-deprived child is simply not as happy as one who gets enough sleep every day. A tired child is more prone to crying, tantrums, whining and fussing, and is much more difficult to calm. So aim for an early bedtime! Raising and teaching Godly children - 044 873 4739
Should parents be Facebook friends with their children?
A question parents have is, do I get involved with Facebook with my son or daughter, should I become friends with them. I think, yes. It is important to know what they are posting on Facebook. It seems intrusive, but you're the parent and you need to know what is going on. You need to explain to your child, here is what is happening in the world of social media. Keep in mind, they've grown up in this world. To them, any kind of picture posted on Facebook is just natural. That's what their friends do, but there are ramifications that they don't understand. The ramifications are having to do with getting accepted into college, getting hired, getting promoted, getting into graduate school, because colleges, employers and graduate schools are going to Facebook pages to see, is this a student we want on campus. Is this an employee that we want to hire? As a parent, you need to monitor their Facebook activities just as you would monitor their TV, their Cellphones, Internet history and their movies. You need to make sure that what is being posted is something they can live with for the next ten years. Digital images have a way of staying around for a long time. They are not going to understand this. They are going to think you are being an overarching parent. They are thinking that they need their independence, but if you are thinking long-term, if you are thinking adulthood, then you have these Facebook conversations and stay on top of what they are posting on Facebook.
24 October
Teen moodiness and mental health
A moody teenager. If you have a teenager in your house, you know what a moody teenager is. I think overreacting to their moodiness is not going to help them with their lives. More importantly, be involved with their lives to participate in the activities you are allowed to participate in, as a teenager, and engage them. Talk to them. Listen to them. If the moods persist, and you have warning signs that something is going on, the first place to go is usually their school. Talk to their teachers. If there are friends of theirs that you are close with, and you feel that you can talk to them; talk to their friends. If there is a house that they hang out at a lot, talk to the parents to see if they are seeing something to help you understand why your child is acting the way that they are acting. If need be, you need to talk to your child about seeing someone and talk to a counselor or family therapist to help you with that. Harry H. Harrison Jr. Raising and teaching Godly children - 044 873 4739
22 October
What are the advantages of reading books?
Reading help us build a better vocabulary. It has been proven that book readers have a richer vocabulary, so for them easier to find the best expression for all that they want to tell others. In general, the more you read, the richer your vocabulary gets. Furthermore, books are definitely a treasure trove of knowledge! Lets start reading!! Raising and teaching Godly children
Don’t Be an over protective parent! Love your children! (11 Oct-19 Oct)
We as parents need to be the parent not the hero and being over protective will turn our children into adults that where not molded by God but rather earthly controlling influences. Being a parent is hard, it’s a 24 hours’ day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year job – forever. We salute all parents, we especially pay tribute to the mothers and fathers who play their part with grace despite hardships. You were chosen, remember that.
We all live busy, stressful lives and have endless concerns as parents, but it is clear that one of the most important things we need to do is to stop and give our kids a big loving squeeze. From the moment you bring your baby home from the hospital, be sure to hold, touch, and rock them in your arms. Spend many precious moments caressing your baby so that their skin can touch your skin. As they get older, be playful, do fun activities like dancing together or creating silly games like pretending to be a hugging or kissing monster. Set a reminder to make sure hugging is part of your daily routine. In the recent Trolls movie, the trolls wore watches with alarm clocks that would go off every hour for hug time. If that's what it takes, then set yourself an alarm. Or make sure to give your kids a hug during certain times of the day, such as before they leave for school, when they get home from school, and before bedtime. Use affection while disciplining your child. As you talk to them about what they did wrong, put your hand on their shoulder and give them a hug at the end of the conversation to ensure them that, even if you are not pleased with their behavior, you still love them. If your children hit their sister or brother, hug them and explain how hugging feels better than hitting.
Finally, be careful not to go overboard and smother your kids. Respect their individual comfort level, and be aware that this will change as they go through different stages. The only way we can get through parenting in this day and age is with a lot of Prayer! Ask God for guidance and to help you be the parents that He designed you to be!
18 October
"Children of Overprotective Parents Do These 11 Things in Adulthood"
(11 Oct-19 Oct)
10. They think about what their parents would think of their decisions, even if they are no longer around to control them. Even when children of overprotective parents become adults and become financially independent, they may still hear the critical voices of their parents when it comes to making decisions. They might wonder if their choice of a boyfriend is really the choice their mother would approve of, or have doubts about the career they’re pursuing if they know that their father had other plans for them.
The trick is to start to slowly replace that critical inner voice and distinguish it from your own. Refocus on your own intuition and rebuild a sense of confidence that is separate from your upbringing.
11. They associate their self-worth with their restraint and carry a sense of toxic shame. Children of overprotective parents might learn that they are only worthy if they show discipline in every aspect of their lives. They can carry a sense of being defective or feeling guilty as they become more and more independent from their parents. It takes a lot of “re-parenting” and inner child work as adults for them to develop a sense of worthiness that does not rely on the approval of their parents.
17 October
"Children of Overprotective Parents Do These 11 Things in Adulthood"
(11 Oct-19 Oct)
8. If they have children themselves, they tend to veer on the side of being very liberating as to avoid the mistakes of their parents, or become rigidly controlling like their parents. The children of overprotective parents might be prone to giving their children all the freedom in the world because they never experienced it themselves. On the other hand, some may also become like their parents if they haven’t done the sufficient inner work and introspection. However, balance is essential. As parents themselves, they learn that they don’t have to sacrifice discipline or fun – they can meet the needs of their children in a far more validating manner without giving up their authority completely.
9. Sensitivity or hyper vigilance to criticism. Children of overprotective parents can be sensitive to criticism because they’ve heard it all their lives. What they did, who they interacted with, and how well they achieved always came under heavy scrutiny. As a result, they may be overly anxious about how others are assessing them or what people think. As adults, they have to learn to care more about what they think of themselves and develop a sense of self-validation.
16 October
"Children of Overprotective Parents Do These 11 Things in Adulthood"
(11 Oct-19 Oct)
6. They develop disparate inner parts or personas that represent the parts they repressed as children or teenagers. As children, they were taught to not be “naughty” – whatever that meant to their overprotective parents. Their overprotective parents (especially if these were narcissistic parents) may have told them horrifying tales of what would happen if they ventured outside of their comfort zone (causing them great anxiety and fear of stepping outside of that comfort zone as adults). Depending on the culture that a child of overprotective parents was raised in, this could look like anything from always getting good grades to never speaking to someone of the opposite sex after school hours.
The more restrictive and traumatic their childhood environment, the more likely these children will develop “inner parts” or shadow selves – personas that represent the unfulfilled needs of childhood. These personas can represent everything from The Party Girl to The Nymph to The Rage Machine. Whatever emotions or choices your parents scrutinized heavily, look within and see if you can recognize these “parts” and how they’ve come out throughout your life.
Someone who was never allowed to have a social life or date, for example, may embody The Nymph in adulthood (being highly promiscuous), while someone who was asked to always smile through their anger may have an overly rageful part of them that comes out in maladaptive ways.
7. They engage in impression management. Most of their lives, children of overprotective parents were taught that they needed to be perfect and overly cautious. As a result, they might work to represent themselves in the best way possible throughout all professional, social and personal situations. What they have to learn, however, is that it’s okay to be authentic and imperfect as well.
Raising and teaching Godly children
15 October
"Children of Overprotective Parents Do These 11 Things in Adulthood"
(11 Oct-19 Oct)
4. They exhibit attachment styles that can sabotage them in relationships. Children of overprotective parents may not have the securest attachment styles in adulthood. After all, at an early age, they learned that the only way to please their parents was to obey them. As a result, they may be insecure, anxious or avoidant in romantic relationships, seeking to cater the needs of others ahead of their own or to avoid relationships altogether.
Those who exhibit an avoidant attachment style may not even pursue relationships because to them a relationship poses a threat to their sense of control over their lives. Meanwhile, children who exhibit insecure or anxious attachment styles may also gravitate towards partners who seek to control them like their parents did.
5. They display people-pleasing attitudes. Unless they’ve done inner work to recognize and set boundaries, children of overprotective parents can be anxious about pleasing others as adults. This is a habit that was ingrained in them as children. They learned how to please people in order to survive – to avoid punishment from their parents or to garner praise. So it’s no wonder that as adults, they can struggle with learning how to say “no” or to express their authentic selves.
Raising and teaching Godly children
12 October
"Children of Overprotective Parents Do These 11 Things in Adulthood"
(11 Oct-19 Oct)
2. They may become perfectionistic control freaks and mirror the behavior of their parents. Children who have overprotective parents that are also narcissistic especially have issues with letting go of control in every facet of their lives. This is usually because they had none of it to begin with as children. They can become perfectionists in an effort to regain that sense of power over their lives and themselves, with the underlying belief that if they are perfect, they can finally become their own authority.
These deep-seated issues with perfectionism can manifest in many different ways – from the innocuous to the destructive. It could look like anything from being the highest performer at school at the risk of their own mental health to developing eating disorder issues in an effort to exercise agency over their own bodies. In trying to control things, they tend to lose more control.
3. They usually go through a wild phase. Whether behind their parent’s backs as teenagers or as soon as they become independent as adults, children of overprotective parents tend to go through a period of high-risk or impulsive behavior. This period is usually intense and filled with things to compensate for the lack of freedom they were granted in childhood. It can include the abuse of drugs, alcohol, 24-hour partying, indiscriminate sexual encounters, or even escalate to criminal activities.
11 October
Over the next week we will discuss an article by Shahida Arabi (April 20th 2018) about "Children of Overprotective Parents Do These 11 Things in Adulthood"
As a parent in this day and age, how do we know when to draw the line with being an Overprotective parent or a parent that give Godly guidance and advice???
Being the child of overprotective parents can be a brutal ordeal that affects not only early development but our behavior, habits and neuroses in adulthood. The term “overprotective parents” can encompass a wide variety of experiences – from the garden variety controlling parents who sought to enforce your curfew to narcissistic parents who become “enmeshed” with their children in a dysfunctional manner. Some children may have been abused, mistreated, constantly subjected to surveillance and lived in a perpetual “panopticon” in their childhood environment, while others might have had a greater range of freedom. Whatever level of the spectrum they may have experienced as the children of overprotective parents; the following eleven symptoms can arise when they’re adults:
1. When someone tries to control them, they rebel. The best way to make someone who had overprotective parents uncomfortable? Try to force them to do something rather than letting them do what they want on their own terms. Children of overprotective parents have issues with the concept of “control” as adults. They despise losing control but they also resent being controlled.
Since they were heavily micromanaged in childhood, the last thing they need is someone else telling them what to do. Saying they can’t do something becomes more of a challenge than a demand. Even a perceived attempt at trying to control them can cause someone who had overprotective parents to feel threatened. Their rebellion in adulthood can come at a cost if they dismiss any and all advice as an attempt to control them rather than realizing that some advice may actually work best for their own self-interest.
2 October
What are your kids drinking??
Energy drinks are the cause of many sudden cardiac deaths in young people, researchers find
High amounts of sugar and caffeine can aggravate underlying heart issues, causing fatal arrhythmias - By Christopher Maynard.
To many adolescents and young adults, energy drinks have become essential for getting through the day. But they carry a serious risk of sudden death, a new study finds.
An international research team has concluded that energy drinks are the cause of many sudden cardiac deaths in young, healthy individuals. The main concern is that these beverages can easily aggravate underlying heart issues. Because of their high amounts of caffeine and sugar, dangerous arrhythmias can easily develop in the hearts of young people who drink them.
Many people already balk at the high amounts of labeled caffeine on these drinks. The problem is that there are many additional sources of caffeine that are “masked” by the labeling. “Masked” caffeine Ingredients such as guarana, ginseng, and taurine have caffeine concentrations that are equal to, or higher than, caffeine found in coffee. Ingesting high doses of any of these substances can be very dangerous. Roughly 31% of adolescents from ages 12 to 19 consume energy drinks on a regular basis. An even higher number of people use alternatives to these beverages, such as gums or inhalers. The high amounts of caffeine in all of these products is causing serious harm, the study found. Of the 5,448 caffeine overdoses reported in the United States in 2007, 46% of them occurred in people under the age of 19. The question is, how can we halt this trend of overconsumption by young people?
Dr. Sanchis-Gomar and his team came up with several guidelines to keep young people from over-indulging.
They caution that: One can (250 mL) of an energy drink per day is safe for most healthy adolescents. Energy drink consumption before or during sports practice should be avoided. Adolescents with clinically relevant underlying medical conditions should consult cardiologists before drinking energy drinks. Excessive energy drink consumption together with alcohol or other drugs, or both, may lead to adverse effects, including death.
“It is important for physicians to understand the lack of regulation in caffeine content and other ingredients of these high-energy beverages,” he said. Knowledge and awareness are key to providing safety for young people.
7 September
MATH PHOBIA IN CHILDREN
4/4 days we will touch on this topic!
Math phobia reason #3
Math phobia can be caused by the drab, repetitive and uninteresting ways in which math is taught in kindergarten and elementary schools. Worksheet after worksheet is given often, which would drive any child nuts. How many of our math teachers know how to teach maths using games? This is particularly important in elementary school and kindergarten. A few sites that help teachers with math games are
mathisfun.com
transum.org/Software/Fun_Maths/
math4children.com/games.html
mathgames.com
In fact, it is not just up to the teachers to make maths interesting. Playing math games can be a beautiful bonding exercise between parent and child. Not only will your first grader learn mathematics with ease, he/she will consider it fun since their beloved parents are showing them how to do it by playing games! Mathematical games, but still – games! There is an ocean of available software and sites online. Playing mathematical games with your child is a creative, emotional, enjoyable, and fulfilling process. You are not just a parent who dictates orders from above, you are a peer and a friend to your child since you are doing what he/she has to do. This can be challenging for those who don’t know mathematics, but if you can learn to use an Android phone or an iPhone, you can learn first grade mathematics. To make your life simpler and easier we’ve picked out some excellent sites so that you don’t have to hunt for them:
math4children.com/Grade1/games/index.html
abcya.com/first_grade_computers.htm
https://www.splashmath.com/math-games-for-1st-graders
mathplayground.com/grade_1_games.html
mathgames.com/grade1
The last site is perhaps the best one to start with.
Information source - https://www.kidsworldfun.com/blog/
6 September
MATH PHOBIA IN CHILDREN
3/4 days we will touch on this topic!
Math phobia reason #2
Whether we like it or not, we have to admit that children at a young age love a subject mostly because they love the teacher. It is true. Now, think how many math teachers in our schools are truly lovable?! The image of a math teacher is that of a stern, portly character with no sense of humor and certainly no intention to make children love mathematics. It is little wonder that a child who is taught mathematics by such a teacher will definitely hate math.
5 September
MATH PHOBIA IN CHILDREN
2/4 days we will touch on this topic!
Math phobia reason #1
We live in the world of quick gratification. Hungry? Eat something right now! Bored? Watch a movie or play computer games. Kids these days receive gratification instantly. The concept of putting in some effort for that gratification never takes hold because everywhere the child receives the gratification he craves for immediately. Mathematics is rewarding for those who are good at it, but a bane for children who are used to instant gratification. When you are studying mathematics, you do not receive instant gratification. When you study mathematics, your brain requires both active time and passive time in which the brain adjusts to and accepts the new requirement that the topic demands from it. This takes time. In a world where everything is available at the click of a button, putting so much effort into something is itself a major strain.
HOW PARENTS CAN CHANGE THE ATTITUDE OF CHILDREN
There are many children who have had quite a difficult upbringing, but were never exposed to it, due to the sacrifice of their parents. Although this may not be the case with all of us, there are many who can identify with this sort of childhood.
Mentioned below is a small story that highlights the importance that parents play, in their children’s upbringing. While this is supposed to be a true incident, I cannot personal vouch for the genuineness of the same.
A young man, who had just completed his Graduate Degree in Management applied for a managerial post in an established company. He had passed the initial screening and interview stages, and was waiting to meet the Managing Director of the Company for the final interview.
The Director called him in and discovered that his records were outstanding, and he had won several medals throughout his career for academic excellence.
The Director also noted that he came from a very poor background. He paused after he read that, and asked the young man, whether he had obtained any scholarships, while at school. The young man replied in the negative.
The Director was intrigued. Coming from such a poor background, how could this young man get through college without any external financial help? He paused again, and then asked the man who had paid for his school and college fees. The young man replied that it was his parents. The man was beginning to wonder whether his upbringing would be a negative factor for the post.
The Director then asked the young man where his parents worked, and how did they earn the money to send him through school. The young man said he came from a community of laundry workers. He said that with a pride, for having got to where he was now. His parents went from house to house, collected people’s dirty laundry, washed it with OdorKlenz, dried and ironed these clothes and returned them by evening.
Did they have a Laundromat or was it all labor intensive, asked the Director. The youth said it was labor related as it was all done by hand. The Director then asked the young man to show his hands. He showed a pair of hands to the Director that were clean, smooth, and well-manicured.
The Director then asked the young man whether he had ever helped his parents with the laundry during his holidays. He again replied in the negative. The Director further queried as to why he avoided helping them. The man said that his parents insisted that he got involved in other extracurricular activities or read more books, so that he made good use of his time.
The Director then asked the man to return home, inspect and clean his parents’ hands, return, and meet him the next morning. The man thought that he had failed in his interview, and returned home dejected.
However, he did as advised. He went home and told his parents about the interview. He then requested them if he could clean their hands. Although his parents were a little taken aback, they permitted him to do so. He slowly began to clean his parent’s hands. It was the first time he had ever done so. It was then he noticed how calloused and wrinkled their hands were. There were also so many bruises due to years of cleaning clothes. They even winced in pain, when he cleaned their hands and applied some antiseptic.
It was then the man realized that how much suffering that they would have gone through, so that he could get through school and college. After washing his parent’s hands, the man went and washed the remaining clothes for his parents. He then sat with them and had a long talk. That night he wept a lot and did not sleep well.
The next morning, the man went straight to the Director’s office. The Director noticed that there were tears in the man’s eyes, and that he appeared tired due to lack of sleep. He asked him what he had learnt from yesterday’s incident. The man narrated about what had happened and acknowledged that he would not have been sitting there, if not for his parents’ hard work. He also realized the importance of helping one’s parents, which he should have done a long time ago.
The Director was pleased with his reply. He said that was what he was looking for, in a manager. He wanted a person who will not only help others, but will also value the help of others. He wanted someone who knows the suffering of others to get things done. Monetary benefits should be second priority to such a person.
The young man was hired.
From the above incident, it is clear that we should stop becoming over-protective parents. Don’t destroy your children through love and over protection. If you are washing plates or cutting grass, let them experience it. Make it a practice to let them wash their plates after a meal and clean their own clothes. Make them more independent rather than hiring a housekeeper.
The most important thing that your child will learn is how he copes up with the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done. This would change their entire attitude as a child.
We need to be better and behave better. What we have seen here is a constrained example of parenting. In addition, we must be aware that we are also accustomed to a certain level of chaos, both internal and external.
The child should also know from a young age that respect is the basic foundational to love, and that it is their duty to take care of their parents, when they become old.
In other words, what is truly valuable is often underrated.
30 August
What is emotional detachment disorder?
Emotional detachment can mean two different things. In the first meaning, it refers to an inability to connect with others on an emotional level, as well as a means of coping with anxiety by avoiding certain situations that trigger it; it is often described as "emotional numbing" or dissociation.
28 August
Now days our children are diagnosed with so many different disorders, but what do they all mean??
Oppositional defiant disorder -
A disorder in a child marked by defiant and disobedient behavior to authority figures. The cause of oppositional defiant disorder is unknown but likely involves a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Symptoms generally begin before a child is eight years old. They include irritable mood, argumentative and defiant behavior, aggression and vindictiveness that last longer than six months and cause significant problems at home or school. Treatment involves individual and family therapy.Treatment can help, but this condition can't be cured and can last for years or be lifelong and will require medical diagnosis.